33- Hot off the Presses: A new Adult magazine...

32- The Monster Gets a Dog

-With special thanks to Nathan Winograd for this one! JungleMan wishes he'd thought of it first!

31- Faces in the News

With all the hubbub and hype being thrown around lately in the animal world, it's only fitting that we return to the "leaders" in this ridiculous movement to eliminate animals from our lives. So here's a couple to hopefully get your chuckles... They do make great comedy teams.

• Who's under the septic tank?
• Certainly.
• No, no. Who was first?
• Who was second.
• Oh, okay then, who was second?
• Yes.
• Who?
• Who.
• Um... Let's see.. You buried him. Who'd you bury?
• Who.
• I'm asking you. 
• You're asking about Who.
• I dunno who, that's why I'm asking you.
• Oh, I Dunno is third and not buried yet. 
• Who? 
• No, I Dunno.
• You married him?
• Yes. Who'd you marry?
• I Dunno.
• (...Whatta ho...) You married the guy and you don't know his name?
• No, I know his name.
• What's his name?
• No, What was first.
• Lemme get this straight... You married a guy as a teenager, and when they asked his name you said "What." Then you took up with old Who. Who's now pushing up daisies, so now you're again married, but this time to I Dunno who...
• Not quite. I Dunno, yes, but he's not Who. 
• He's not Who? Then who is he?
• I Dunno. 
• (smacking head) If you lose this one, who will you marry  next?
• Don't Give a Damn. 
• (At this point, Lutz's mustache falls off)

• "Is this work in competent hands?" 
• "Soitainly, we're all incompetent hands!"
• "Nyuk-nyuk!"

30- A few New Ones...and an Update.

 Remember-

If you see this seal, you know it's a work of 

JungleMan

and not just a copy-paste! 

--Beware of imitations--

So far, it seems our most popular satire is the South Park one... You know, 

"OMG, They Seized Kenny!"

Well, people asked, where IS Kenny? 

So here's an updated version of that very popular "photo"...

Thanks, South Park! 

-JungleMan

(A self-portrait of JungleMan)

29- The Exposes of INSIDE EDITION

Don't miss her upcoming expose, "Inside a Skydiving School." -Find out what happens if you refuse to join the Mile High club just before a jump! 

Also coming up- "Mephisto's School of Fire Eating." Learn the real reason why so few graduate! Lisa learns the truth from a fisherman on Lake Hootchikootche.

ONLY in INSIDE EDITION

(formerly WEEKLY WORLD NEWS)

28- Wayne Pacelle Again...

It's recently come to our attention that Wayne Pacelle, whom we all know as the top banana of the Humane Society of the United States (which despite its name is not a government agency, nor is it a humane society), has now resorted to flaming and bashing, stopping just short of actual libel and slander, against those who speak out with the truth against his cash cow. Contrary to their own Mission Statement and Corporate By-Laws -and federal rules governing 501(c)(3) entities, their main thrust is in lobbying and advocating new, unneeded laws to regulate and eventually eliminate all human-animal contact of any sort. They first went after real abusers, then circuses. Now they are trying to eliminate pet breeders (lumping them all under their moniker of "puppy mills") and exotic animal owners. They are pushing for a total ban on all exotic animals in circuses, and domestics will be next. There is a growing backlash to this, and people are beginning to wake up and speak up. One of the groups on the forefront of this, spreading the truth about HSUS and its various scams, is Humane Watch (http://humanewatch.org/index.php/site/).

Pacelle's latest frothing-mouth put-down lumps all readers of that site/blog as "dogfighters, cockfighters, puppy millers, sealers, trophy hunters, factory farmers, furriers, keepers of exotic wildlife as pets, and zoophiles, among others." Check out the link above and see for yourself.


What’s a zoophile? At first blush, we assumed Pacelle means people who enjoy zoos. Boy, were we wrong. Basically, it’s someone who has sex with animals. Yes, that’s how HSUS’s CEO expresses his obvious frustration with criticism.


So here then is JungleMan's satire response to good ol' Waynero...

27- Carole's Looking Forward to Her Fur Ball...

26- Perry's Latest Concession

Rick Perry announced today that he's giving up his rebel license plate...

Word is, his new plate will say, "KING" to mollify NAACP...

25- Jack-Jack of Zanesville

Our favorite jungle-man, Jungle Jack Hanna himself, is getting old. He doesn't know when to keep his nose clean, and had to step into this one. So be it. He's now involved and fair game for the pundits...

Seems like even the South Park boys were there...

Some people have already told me it wasn't nice to show a picture of Jack holding a bottle of Jack.

So maybe this one should have been used instead...

(c) 2011 JungleMan

all rights reserved

24- The Ohio Exotic Animals Massacre

Here's a news shot of the farm where around 50 exotic animals allegedly were turned loose and the owner -again, allegedly- committed suicide.  Notice the sheriff and deputy's cars in the foreground...

Another shot from the same article, of the sheriff hisself. Looks like the poor schmuck fell asleep on camera...

I'm still looking for a good funny pic of somebody cutting animal cages open. But y'know, it's hard to find anything funny about this scandal and frame-up...